As if

A
I knelt as if to pray
As if I believed
I hoped “as if”
Would be enough
Enough to make
Believe, belief
I’d lived my life
As if
As if
I was someone else
It wasn’t as if
I hadn’t tried
I’d tried to be
Myself
It was as if
Myself was not allowed
Did I live my life
As if I’d lied
As if the pain of hiding me
Was planned
I hoped and hid and tried
As if it would be enough
I have had to learn
We do not live
As if we lived
We simply
Live

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badgerslabyrinth

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