Prayer of the Hypocrite

Forgive me for intruding
I know I don’t believe
It’s more reaction
Than reflection
Habituation than belief
Yet still
I catch myself
Casting prayer
Into the cosmos
For what I’m not sure
Answered prayers?
Quaint relic of past beliefs
God knows they were
Few and far between
God and I 
Arrived long ago
At an understanding
He maintained his silence
And I my disbelief
Yet still
Now and then
I’ll twitter
I’ve accepted
He doesn’t tweet me back
Perhaps I am a hypocrite
Though labels often hide the truth
I think God knows the truth of that

Having often been 
Labelled God
I have often reflected over the past years on my hypocrisy.  I was brought up in the church and taught to pray from an early age, I became a minister of religion and preached on the importance of prayer.  Yet time, silence and my reality as a gay man rusted the bars of belief in a personal God until now I no longer believe.  My hypocrisy lies in the fact that though no longer believing I still find myself casting prayer into the universe, a reflexive habit from my days in the church?  This poem attempts to capture some of that feeling of hypocrisy.

About the author


Add Comment

By badgerslabyrinth